Growth

We moved into our Bellevue House one year ago.  We have planted 11 trees, a vegetable and fruit garden, and a host of perennials.  We have aerated our lawn, seeded, fertilized, laid hay, watered and waited...for something, anything to grow.

It seemed a little rocky at first.  We lost two trees.  Our vegetables did not really produce.  Our yard was a hard, weed-filled mess.  It was going to take a lot of work to see growth.  It was going to take a lot of nurturing...a lot of love...and a few changes to make something happen.

Eli worked tirelessly to aerate our yard.  We moved the location of our garden.  We were more intentional about watering our seed and plants.  We pulled pesky weeds.  And, then, something happened.

Our lettuce began to produce.

And peach pits began growing on our trees.

And our kids began to play and run in the grass that is growing and green.

We still aren't where we need to be.  We've still lost some vegetables.  There are still patches in our yard that will require aerating again in the fall.  And a lot of those beautiful peach pits did not make it.  But, there is growth.


Our journey with our yard has paralleled my life in the last year.  After much hurt and pain...and brokenness...I am beginning to see growth.  I am better than I was last year...relying more on the Lord than ever before...I am taking baby steps and being healed in ways that I would have never imagined.

And, just like I had to change some things about our garden...I had to do the same thing in my own life.  I had to pluck some weeds and nurture the soil.  I am so thankful to the people in my life who have nurtured me....ministered to me in my pain...who walked alongside and asked hard questions...who didn't stroke my ego simply because they wanted my approval, but who challenged me and held me accountable and reminded me to stay the course.  Everyone should have at least one person they can be real with...one person who truly knows them and can hold them accountable...one person who will intercede on her behalf...one person who will jump for joy during the triumph and who will grieve when death knocks at the door.  My life has been changed because of the people who have poured their hearts out to me....and who have allowed me to be who I am.  It is these people who make me a better follower of Christ, a better wife, a better mom.

Through it all, I am growing...and that is a beautiful thing.

Happy Mother's Day

It is still hard for me to believe that I am a mother.  A mother of two, in fact...a mother of two boys....

My husband asked me what I wanted to do for Mother's Day.  He said, "You don't seem like the type of mom that wants space from her kids on Mother's Day."  And, while, there is nothing wrong with having space from one's kids on Mother's Day...Mother's Day for me is a day that I want to enjoy being with my children.  It is a day for me just to sit back in awe of what God has created.  It is a day for me to fall in love with my role as a mom all over again and to express my appreciation for being entrusted with these two little boys.  

Gift from Eli

 

Everyday he picks me flowers...

My homemade bouquet from Emmanuel

I have so little time to myself to reflect on my role as a mother.  I am constantly moving from one thing to another...there is always something to clean or something that needs to be cooked...or a little someone who is pulling on my clothes, my hair, the keys in my back pocket.  There is little time to reflect.  If I am honest, then I need to take more time to simply enjoy my children...my little family.  

Reese trying to eat the herbs!

Playing in the water

Soaking wet 

This Mother's Day...we did just that!  We worshipped, relaxed, and celebrated a friend.  

Happy Birthday, Justice!

She calls him "Manny" because Emmanuel is really hard for little ones to say.  

Good friends!

My heart was full, even though Emmanuel was adamant that the Mother's Day necklace that he made should go to Mia (man, he is crazy about that girl!)...and even though I didn't get a nap...and even though I was rushing around trying to get everybody else's Mother's Day cards and gifts to them on time...my heart was full because I was with my wonderful husband and crazy boys.  

My heart was full...and it still is.

Gratefulness is flowing from my heart

Easter was glorious.

4 Egg Hunts

Bellevue MOMS Club 

Emmanuel's church buddies 

James IV drew Carmen on an egg 

Sweet Jamiya and E

3 Crazy Cousins

This was E's idea

2 Good Friends, A Glorious Church Celebration, and 1 Grateful Family

My OB is a rockstar!

(I meant to post this 10 months ago!)

I love my OBGYN...I mean, I really love her.

I had absolutely no idea when I selected her for my OB that she was a superstar in Nashville.  So...let me clarify:   she's not a country music star...and she's not a "rockstar" in the music world...but in the world of delivering babies...she reigns supreme.  

My pediatrician (who, by the way, is a rockstar in the world of taking care of babies) has 5 children.  When she asked me who my OB was, I said, "Dr. Schletcher."  She looked at me, and said, "She's amazing.  She's my OB.  But, I thought she wasn't taking any patients."  And, in a very nice way, my pediatrician said, "Well, who do you know...you must know somebody important if she took you as a patient."

I said, "Well, she delivered all of my brother and sister-in-law's children...and I think he's pretty important."  (As an aside, I really can't go anywhere in Nashville around the TSU area without people knowing my brother....I went into a restaurant close to TSU's campus not too long ago and his picture was on the wall...)  But, it had nothing to do with my fabulous brother or sister-in-law.

Reese and Dr. S at 8 weeks old

I LOVE, love, love this woman...I can't say enough good things about her.  I love her almost enough to have another baby (ok, I don't love anybody that much!)

If you are thinking of delivering a baby in Nashville at Baptist (yes, it really is the best baby delivering hospital), check out Dr. Schletcher...and you can tell her that Carmen sent you :)

To the moon...

I have written before that one of our favorite books to read is "Guess How Much I Love You" by Sam McBratney.  We often say that we love each other "to the moon and back."  

Well, one morning Emmanuel and I went to get Reese out of the bed.  And, as Reese lifted his head to lunge towards E, E said, "He's my best buddy."   

Then, Emmanuel said to Reese, "I love you very much in the whole wide world to the moon and back!"

It was so great to hear Emmanuel shower Reese with his love.  We often have toddler-infant struggles throughout the day, all day, every day...and I feel like I spend the better part of my day as a referee, a teacher, a disciplinarian.  It can be very draining.  So, instead of always focusing on the struggles, I thought I would take the time to enjoy a special moment shared between my two favorite little boys.

...and that moment passed quickly, as I must go back to being a referee...

Real love...

Jesus went to Calvary to save a wretch like you and me...that's love...

They hung Him high...they stretched Him wide...He hung His head, for me He died...that's love...

That's not how the story ends...for in three days, He rose again...that's love...

When I think of the suffering that Jesus endured...for other people...I get excited.  I am hopeful.  The story of Jesus' love for other people makes sense to me.  He provides great hope.

But, when I think of what Jesus endured for me, I have to stop to catch my breath.  See, the difference is that I know myself.  I really know Carmen.  I know my sin...I know how ugly my heart is...I know how desperate I am for grace....

so when I stop and consider that Jesus was beaten, broken, and battered for me...and all of my filth...because He chose me...because He loved me...because I'm His...it's unfathomable.  Nobody loves like that...

My heart prays that Emmanuel and Reese would have a real understanding of who they are...for it is only when we truly know ourselves that we can see how real Jesus is and how desperate we are for Him.  Father, please show them who they really are, so that they can cling to You...so that they cry out for You...so that they praise You with their whole hearts.

Thank you, Father, for enduring shame.  Thank you for not turning back on me.  Thank you for your great, unfathomable love.

These Two Boys...

It's no secret that my firstborn has a lot of energy.  He runs circles around most kids.  He screams.  He laughs.  He can't sit down for a long time.  He enjoys every moment of life.  He just keeps going and going and going.  

This picture has a funny story...will tell in a later post!

When I was pregnant with Reese, an overwhelming amount of people said to me, "Oh, your second born will be more laid back.  He will sleep through the night right away.  Surely, God wouldn't give you two kids who were so...excited (this last one was by far my favorite)."

I remember telling Eli to "brace himself" because Reese was highly active in the womb...way more active than Emmanuel.  Could it be possible to have two very active boys?

When Reese was born, EVERYONE...well, almost everyone, commented on how "laid back" Reese was...he must sleep through the night...he must sit quietly in his car seat...he must not make a peep in church, surely he is the "perfectly behaved baby you've always dreamed of..."

Well, let me set the record straight...Reese has a lot of energy.  He crawled around 5 months.  He climbed stairs at 7 months.  He's been standing unassisted since he was 8 months old.  He is the busiest baby I've ever seen before in my life.  He speaks to total strangers in the store.  He yells at people from the grocery cart to get their attention.  He's a flirt....a charmer...and super friendly (he's very similar to his older brother in that way).

Let me clue you in on a little secret....

IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE TWO CHILDREN WHO ARE HIGHLY ACTIVE, HAVE LOTS OF ENERGY, AND ARE LOUD!

They are definitely NOT the same, but it blows my mind that they are both so...full of energy.

And, well, then Eli reminds me that I'm their mama...and I happen to be an excited person with lots of energy, and I just shake my head because I know he's right.

When both of the boys are really excited, I just stop and laugh to myself.  I made up this song several months ago that I also sing when they are super duper out of control.  It's called "These Two Boys," and I sing it in my best rockstar voice (I'll spare you a video)....

The chorus simply states:
These Two Boys
These Two Boys
What Am I Gonna Do
With These Two Boys?

I often wonder what I am going to do with them...thankfully God provides wisdom and grace...lots of it!