Well, fast forward to 2013. I am a stay-at-home mom of three small children. My days mostly consist of wiping bottoms and snotty noses, attending playdates, reminding my children to use their manners and to be respectful, correcting behavior, picking up toys (I clean A LOT), and cooking meals (I cook A LOT). A few times a week, I'm able to workout (usually joined by Shaun T and at least one child), and I do work a few hours a week for As One Fellowship, a new multicultural church plant in Nashville and Preston Taylor Ministries. I am up pretty early most mornings, and by 5pm, I am spent.
This is not the amazing life that I thought I would have.
Most of my very talented, very intelligent college friends are booming in their careers. They are business leaders, attorneys, marketing specialists....you know, important in their field. At 31, I thought that I would be right alongside of them...but my days are different. My days are focused on teaching site words, singing pat-a-cake, and building towers that "bad guys" can't knock down.
It is not glamorous. Sometimes, it's actually very gross (potty training, anybody?). And, I will never make a lot of money. Those things are facts. But, this non-glamorous, gross life brings me so much joy. I have the great privilege to spend the majority of my children's waking hours with them. I get to help them work through times when they are angry. I get to teach them how to process their emotions. I get to remind them of Christ's unconditional love for them. I get to be there with them to rejoice when they have accomplished something exciting. I get to be present. And, now that I am three short weeks away from not spending the majority of Emmanuel's waking hours with him, I am realizing that this is my dream.
It's my dream to be present....to be available...to be the homeroom mom...to be the baseball coach's wife...to do the laundry...to cook the meals...that's my dream. Actually, the funny thing is that my mom was "that mom." The one who was at the school and involved. The mom on my brother's teams who helped to organize things. The one who was home with us when school was out. She stayed at home with us, and I will never forget having a conversation with my very wise daddy who said, "When your mom was at home, I had no worries. I knew that she would take care of everything. I knew she would teach and train. I am grateful that she held us together." He praised her for her service to our family. He valued the sacrifice that she made for us. I am so grateful that I had that conversation with him before he passed away. Because on days when I feel like I am making no impact and that what I am doing doesn't matter, God reminds me of this conversation with my dad. What a gift that is to me.
So, this past Spring, I had an opportunity to further "live my dream" by being the coach's wife! Eli coached Emmanuel's Coach Pitch Baseball Team. It was so much fun! I loved every practice and every game. We truly had a great experience as a family. The kids and families that we worked with were amazing. We could not have asked for a better group of people to play with. What fun! It is truly an experience that we will remember forever.
My dream definitely looks different than what I envisioned. And, I believe that happens to us. We think our life should look one way, but God has other plans. When we truly surrender our life to God, he reveals to us his purposes for us and his plans for us, and then affirms his plan, even if other people do not. So what if our dream is not as glamorous as somebody elses....God has a plan. So what if we don't make very much money...God has a plan and He will provide. So what if it doesn't fit perfectly in our box....God has a plan and He molds us and shapes us. God's plans for our life far outweighs anything that we could ever dream up on our on. So, go ahead, choose God's plan for your life....don't force or manufacture something that is not there...He has a specific plan just for you. I can honestly say that these three children have drawn me closer to God than anything else in my life. I am more aware of my sin. More aware of my deficiencies. More aware of my need for Christ. And in my daily failings as a parent, I am more grateful for the mercy of Jesus that never runs out.
God has a plan...to draw us closer to Himself and to allow us to know Him in a deeper, more intimate way. Trust that.
