Real love...

Jesus went to Calvary to save a wretch like you and me...that's love...

They hung Him high...they stretched Him wide...He hung His head, for me He died...that's love...

That's not how the story ends...for in three days, He rose again...that's love...

When I think of the suffering that Jesus endured...for other people...I get excited.  I am hopeful.  The story of Jesus' love for other people makes sense to me.  He provides great hope.

But, when I think of what Jesus endured for me, I have to stop to catch my breath.  See, the difference is that I know myself.  I really know Carmen.  I know my sin...I know how ugly my heart is...I know how desperate I am for grace....

so when I stop and consider that Jesus was beaten, broken, and battered for me...and all of my filth...because He chose me...because He loved me...because I'm His...it's unfathomable.  Nobody loves like that...

My heart prays that Emmanuel and Reese would have a real understanding of who they are...for it is only when we truly know ourselves that we can see how real Jesus is and how desperate we are for Him.  Father, please show them who they really are, so that they can cling to You...so that they cry out for You...so that they praise You with their whole hearts.

Thank you, Father, for enduring shame.  Thank you for not turning back on me.  Thank you for your great, unfathomable love.

These Two Boys...

It's no secret that my firstborn has a lot of energy.  He runs circles around most kids.  He screams.  He laughs.  He can't sit down for a long time.  He enjoys every moment of life.  He just keeps going and going and going.  

This picture has a funny story...will tell in a later post!

When I was pregnant with Reese, an overwhelming amount of people said to me, "Oh, your second born will be more laid back.  He will sleep through the night right away.  Surely, God wouldn't give you two kids who were so...excited (this last one was by far my favorite)."

I remember telling Eli to "brace himself" because Reese was highly active in the womb...way more active than Emmanuel.  Could it be possible to have two very active boys?

When Reese was born, EVERYONE...well, almost everyone, commented on how "laid back" Reese was...he must sleep through the night...he must sit quietly in his car seat...he must not make a peep in church, surely he is the "perfectly behaved baby you've always dreamed of..."

Well, let me set the record straight...Reese has a lot of energy.  He crawled around 5 months.  He climbed stairs at 7 months.  He's been standing unassisted since he was 8 months old.  He is the busiest baby I've ever seen before in my life.  He speaks to total strangers in the store.  He yells at people from the grocery cart to get their attention.  He's a flirt....a charmer...and super friendly (he's very similar to his older brother in that way).

Let me clue you in on a little secret....

IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE TWO CHILDREN WHO ARE HIGHLY ACTIVE, HAVE LOTS OF ENERGY, AND ARE LOUD!

They are definitely NOT the same, but it blows my mind that they are both so...full of energy.

And, well, then Eli reminds me that I'm their mama...and I happen to be an excited person with lots of energy, and I just shake my head because I know he's right.

When both of the boys are really excited, I just stop and laugh to myself.  I made up this song several months ago that I also sing when they are super duper out of control.  It's called "These Two Boys," and I sing it in my best rockstar voice (I'll spare you a video)....

The chorus simply states:
These Two Boys
These Two Boys
What Am I Gonna Do
With These Two Boys?

I often wonder what I am going to do with them...thankfully God provides wisdom and grace...lots of it!