Because He Lives

The majority of people I know love Christmas...and they go all out...the music, the lights, the nativity scenes...the parties...the shopping...the gifts...the tree...well, I do like Christmas a lot...I'm not a huge fan of all the commercialization and the gifts...but I like Christmas, ok.  

But, Easter...I LOVE Easter.  For me, Easter brings hope in a way that makes everything else make sense.  Easter is an amazing display of love, hope, truth, and eternity all in one.  Easter is the holiday that I enjoy the most in life.  Easter is my holiday. 

This year's Easter was different for our family.  Every January, I plan for Easter.  We had planned to be at our church.  I had choreographed a dance for our church.  I had my  Holy Week Study all laid out and ready to go.  I was shopping for matching shirts for the boys.  I was planning the menu for Easter Sunday dinner.  I could not wait until Easter!  But, things changed pretty rapidly and my plans did not come to fruition.  There was no longer a church home, which meant there was no longer a dance...and there was the dreadful call that my granddaddy had passed. This year's Easter would be different.  God was not surprised by this, but I definitely was.  

This would be Emmanuel's first Easter...his first Holy Week would be spent with his mom experiencing incredible pain and awesome grief at the loss of her granddaddy...during his first Good Friday, he would travel to a small town in West Tennessee and view his great granddaddy's body...this is not what I had planned for Emmanuel's first Easter...for my favorite holiday. 

But, on the Saturday before Easter--a glorious thing happened.  The Holy Spirit reminded me of the loss that Eli and I had experienced during this season...I was reminded of the pain and the grief...and the confusion and the suffering and while I am left with not very much at all...not very much strength....not very much energy...not very many friends...I surveyed the grave site where many of my family members are buried and where a fresh plot was dug for granddaddy, and the Holy Spirit whispered to me, "But, Carmen, because He lives, you can face tomorrow." (This was granddaddy's favorite song).  All the while, I was sad because I had experienced so much pain and grief during my favorite holiday season, but Jesus says...guess what, "I have risen."  And because Jesus has risen...because of the glorious resurrection of Christ...I can face the pain of yesterday, the grief of today, and whatever tomorrow might bring.  "Because He lives...all fear is gone."  So, what an amazing story of resurrection for Emmauel's 1st Easter.  It's not fairy-tale worthy, but it is Christ-worthy.  It's not a pretty plot, but the ending will be "happily ever after."  Because He lives.  

Emmanuel and cousin, Connor

The Foster family:  Carmen, Emmanuel, and Eli

Too bad this is blurry--Mia and Aunt Carmen at Easter dinner.

James and wife, Dawn, in the country. 

Emmanuel and his great Aunt Cornelia Belle. 

Me and the big man.
Michael and J4.
Joshua, J4, and Michael.
Emmanuel and Eli after the service.

Mommy and Emmanuel after the service. 

Emmanuel and his great, great Aunt Raye, Raye.  I'm going to ask for that hat.  I can't wait to wear it to church!

Emmanuel, Eli, Joshua and Dawn in the country. 

Danielle (Connor's mom) and Emmanuel. 

The kids after church.
JRIII on his cell...always. 
Because He Lives...I can...we can...we will face tomorrow! 

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy...

Hi, friends.  

Here is a video of Emmanuel's crazy laugh!  I read this quote the other day and thought it perfectly described what we are walking through, "When the heart weeps for what is lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found."  

My heart weeps because Eli was terminated from his job...but my spirit laughs because I know that God is totally in control of this hard and painful situation.

My heart weeps because granddaddy has passed away...but my spirit laughs because He is staring at the beautiful face of His Savior, Creator, and Lord...he's spending his days praising the name of Jesus alongside of his wife, his parents, his children, and his siblings.  

My heart weeps because I don't know what tomorrow holds...but my spirit laughs because I am totally in love with the One who created yesterday, today, and tomorrow and I trust Him to lead and guide our next steps.

Thank you for those who have weeped with us over the last month and who continue to weep with us.  Thank you for those who are laughing with us right now as we stand in awe of our amazing Savior and are humbled by the mighty work that He is doing in our lives.  Thank you for laughing like Emmanuel and interceding to God on our behalf.  Thanks for being totally there with us.

"She is clothed with strength and dignity....she can laugh at the days to come."  Proverbs 31:25

Emmanuel's First Bath in a "real" tub

My parents and I flew all the way to Tennessee to see my great-granddaddy off to Heaven.  And my mama packed me lots of my favorite things so that I could adjust to my "new environment," but she didn't pack my infant tub.  I thought to myself, "What's wrong with her?  Doesn't she want me to smell good for the funeral and for Easter Sunday?"  I chose not to discuss this with her because I could tell she was under a lot of stress.  I just went with the flow secretly hoping she would come up with a way for me to take a bath or two. 

Well, lo and behold!  Grandma's house had a tub that I could use!  This was my first time without the security of my infant tub, but I loved sitting up like a big boy.

Now, as you can see, I would rather eat the washcloth than to play with my bath toys...

Sometimes my mama takes the washcloth away from me so that she can use it to wash me (go figure!)

I usually get it back from her, though! 

All in all, I had a lot of fun in the grown-up tub, and I smelled so good afterwards.  I'm going to ask my mom to buy some of that shea butter baby wash, and I hope that the next time we fly to Tennessee that she forgets my infant tub :) 

He is the most respected man in the whole county...

On Sunday morning, April 5, my mom called me and told me that my beloved granddaddy (dad's dad) had gone home to be with Jesus.  Even as I write these words, my heart is heavy. I know that he is rejoicing in heaven...but I am sad that I won't get to hear his voice or hold his hands again.  

My granddaddy was a man of great and simple faith.  He loved Jesus so much, was faithful to his wife, and worked hard for his family.  He was a simple man who left an extraordinary legacy for his children, his grandchildren, and his great-grandchildren.  Even in the midst of the painful trial that Eli and I have been enduring, granddaddy's simple faith has sustained me. When I told him what was going on in our lives, he said, "Child, don't worry.  God's in control of that."  These are words of a man who trusted God even under the hand of great oppression. These are the words of a man who worked for 82 1/2 years.  These are the words of a man who buried 4 children, 6 siblings, and his wife before God called him home.  These are the words of a man who endured much more pain than I and who still trusted the Lord with his whole heart.  My granddaddy was amazing. 

Eli and I would visit granddaddy when we traveled to Tennessee, and we usually took him out to eat at his favorite restaurant in his town.  When we were checking out one day, this lady came up to me.  She said, "I heard you call that man 'granddaddy.'  I just want you to know that he is the most respected man in the whole county."  Psalm 1 talks about a man of God...it reads, "He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."  

I wrote something for his funeral on behalf of his grandkids.  It was called "We Share His Hands."  His hands represent his legacy to us.  His hands represent the blessing of the generations.  His hands held Emmanuel when he was 10 weeks old.  His hands are our hands and they tell the story of his life and of future generations to come. 

This picture (in black and white) has been on my refrigerator since it was taken.  The day before granddaddy passed away, I pointed to the picture and started telling Emmanuel about his great-granddaddy.  
My grandparents had 7 kids...so my granddaddy knows a thing or two about babies.  He was so precious with Emmanuel...he just gazed at him the whole time we visited.  (I posted a video of how sweet they were together in a previous post.)

Please pray for my family.  This is hard.  His funeral was a glorious celebration, but this is still hard.  Pray that I would be able to continue to praise through the pain.  

A surprise party for "Mr" Eli!

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote that our family was walking through a really difficult season. And while we did not receive support from the places that we most expected it, God knocked our socks off and gave us more support than we could have ever imagined from these teens in our youth group and their families.  God is making His word and purposes more clear to me everyday...thank you for your faithful prayers.  And as we embark upon Holy Week...I am even more amazed at our loving Savior and his sacrifice for us.  (I will write more about this later). 

For the last 5 1/2-6 years, we have poured out our lives in ministry to teens and families in the Pen Lucy neighborhood.  Eli once said (yes, I am quoting my husband...when I heard him say this, I immediately wrote it down)  that "we must strategically target our youth.  The world strategically targets our youth and provides for them every distraction away from knowing and serving God.  Therefore, it is all the more urgent for the church to strategically target youth so that they can fall in love with Jesus, their neighbors, and His church."  

Well, these young people ministered to us in a way that we will both remember forever.  They saw that we were hurting and wanted to display their love for us in a tangible way.  Here is a picture of the high schoolers.  (The middle schoolers and one of their teachers came after the high schoolers--so I don't have any pics of them!) 

I have been praying for Darnell for I don't know how many years.  He is such a brilliant guy.  It is our hope that one day we will worship at his church.  (He really is happy...we caught him off guard with this pic!)  Darnell's younger brother is Big Mook (from a few posts ago).  

Mona (in the center) was the primary planner of the party.  Chanel and Priscilla are Seniors this year.  
All we really did was eat, laugh, and talk.  It was like a family reunion (without the Tshirts!) Even Emmanuel got into the conversation with his growls!  

Grace (she has two middle names) Joanna Nicole and Adrienne.  

Brittany Allen even asked different youth to wear their Youth Tshirts or Dance Tshirts to church the Sunday before as a way to show appreciation to Eli and I for our work with the Youth Ministry.  This, of course, made us cry, too.  It reminded us from the last scene in Dead Poets Society...when the students get on their desks and say to Robin Williams, "O, Captain, My Captain."  Thanks, Brit Brack. 

Grace and David.

Again, Eli was completely blown away by the outpouring of love that these youth showed to us. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.   

We love you, all...and we so desperately want you to know that Jesus passionately pursues you.  Thank you being a picture of God's love to us.  

Heather's Visit to Baltimore!

My Aunt Heather came all the way to visit me from Vancouver, Washington.  She's a school social worker and this is her Spring Break...wasn't it nice of her to come and spend it with me? My mom says that the way to a baby's heart (my heart) is through books...so the first thing Aunt Heather did was read to me.  

My mom made us pose for a family picture when we took Aunt Heather down to the Inner Harbor.  They worked real hard to get me to smile, but I tricked them because I wasn't looking at the camera!  

My mom wanted to take Aunt Heather to a famous "local" place in Baltimore.  We all know that my mom doesn't like local restaurants in Baltimore, but she went out on a limb to take Aunt Heather to Vacarro's in Little Italy.  Aunt Heather can't eat chocolate (she gave it up for Lent), but she found some nice treats.  

We took a walk up to Federal Hill and here is the view--isn't it beautiful?  There was a big dog (Aunt Heather really likes dogs, she says it was a Great Dane) that came bouncing around us...mommy didn't like that one bit!  Aunt Heather intercepted the dog so that he wouldn't get to me or mommy.  I don't know if mommy will be taking me back to Federal Hill anytime soon, she doesn't really like dogs. 

Here is a picture of Aunt Heather in front of the Harbor.  You can't tell by looking at this picture, but I promise that she's not as crazy as my dad!  

We stopped at the bocce ball court in Little Italy because this is where mom and dad had lots of dates when they first moved to Baltimore.  Here is a picture of dad trying to "sing" me to sleep. Boy did I fool him!  There was too much going on to sleep.  LOL.  I've been around for 9 months now, he should know that I like to see what's going on instead of sleeping! 

Here I am on our way back home after our fun day at the Harbor. 

I don't know why my mom insists on taking all of these pictures! 

Thanks, Aunt Heather, for coming to spend some time with me.  I really appreciate it!  Watch out now...the next time you see me, I'll probably be walking and talking and running things.