5

Well, well, well...my oldest is 5.

5 years ago, my life was changed forever by a 5 pound 9 ounce, curly-haired baby.  He made me a mom.

When I held him for the first time, I never imagined that in 5 years, he would be the oldest of 3 children, a passionate and intense lover of football, and a thorough cleaner (your future wife will appreciate this!)  Sure, I thought he would be curious, creative, and loads of fun...but its the daily details about this child (and my other children) that knock my socks off.

On his 5th Birthday, Emmanuel chose a "Buzz Lightyear" smash cake because, of course, he wanted to wear his Buzz costume on his birthday (partly because of our Disney trip and partly because he just wanted to be in costume.)  He waited three weeks for his very own smash cake (after watching MG and Reese eat smash cakes), and he had purposed in his heart that he was going to eat it ALL...and all by himself.  He helped make his cake with me that morning.  The final product was green cake with purple icing.

His activity for the day was to go on a hike at our awesome nature center.  He, being the athletic kid he is, chose the longest hike...and I want to say we ended up hiking over 5 miles that day...and he ran with me on the trail a lot of the time.  I will never forget that as we were running through the woods, he looked at me with those chocolate eyes, and said, "Mom, you are my running/workout buddy!"  Note to self:  Keep those knees moving so that I can keep running with my little guy...because in a few years, he will be faster and have more endurance...(yes, I am feeling old)

Making Mud Birthday Cupcakes 

The two little ones asleep on the hike 

Bonding 

While Reese and MG slept on the hike, Eli and I acknowledged how blessed we were to have "alone" time with our 5-year-old on his birthday.  And, in typical Eli fashion, I think he shed a tear.  

We ended our day celebrating Emmanuel at Chick-Fil-A (with E dressed as Buzz and Reesie dressed as Woody...because what is Buzz without Woody?)  As a bonus, it was Family Night at Chick-Fil-A, so the kids got to eat for free and got free balloons!

A note about love and Emmanuel's birth:

My whole life I have been taught "Jesus Love Me."  At each stage of life, I began to understand more about God's love for His children...I was taught that...it was modeled for me...I engaged in an intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father...there were ups and downs and I would turn away and God would hold me near...but there wasn't a clear understanding of why this God--the Creator of all things would love me...could love me so much, until I was pushed to extreme love with my firstborn and subsequently my other children.  My shortcomings were and are more evident...my need for this unconditional, grace-based love from a perfect, blameless Savior is so much more real to me now that I am a parent.  I'm not making a blanket statement to say that this is true for everyone when they become a parent...this is just how God used my children and my challenges thus far to shape me and mold me to draw nearer to Him.  My children minister to me.  They push me to forgive and to ask for forgiveness, when they ask questions, hard questions about Jesus, they challenge me to know more and to do more...they increase my faith.  When they comfort me in my times of sadness (usually over missing my dad), they very matter-of-factly remind me that He is seeing Jesus face-to-face and singing His praises (Duh, mom, Granddaddy is partying with Jesus!)  They bring me joy.   In my perpetual tiredness and just plain raggedy-ness (not a word), my children challenge me to depend more on my amazing Savior and to lean more dependently on Him.

5 years ago, my life was changed...by a small little baby...and daily, I am changing and being made new through these children.

3...5

Three years old.

Three is a tough birthday for me.  When my kids turn 3, it's like something "clicks" for me.  All of a sudden, they are potty-trained, having conversations, sharing their opinions, picking out their clothes, choosing their own birthday theme, and helping out around the house.  They are big kids.  And, I suddenly realize that life is happening at turbo speed and my babies who I never thought would sleep through the night or wipe their own bottom or clean up after themselves begin to do those things...and they need me less and less.  It is simultaneously beautiful and hard.

This year, Reese wanted to celebrate by dressing in his Iron Man costume, having an Iron Man smash cake, going to the splash pad, and eating dinner at Pei Wei.  We started the day with a special breakfast in a special birthday chair with balloons and "everything" Reesie.

Reesie, we adore you!  You are so smart...and hilarious!  You speak your mind and let us know how you really feel!  You are tough, but very sensitive.  You LOVE Emmanuel with all your heart.  When he is at school, you talk about him, and if strangers come up to us and start talking about you and Moriah Grace, you make sure to tell them that you have a big brother who is in Kindergarten.  You are sweet with MG  and feel the need to protect her, unless she gets too close to your stuff.  You love to wrestle and fight with your daddy.  You punch him as soon as he walks through the door!  You love to get dirty and to go to the dirt park and make me pretend food out of all of the dirt.  You are sweet with your mama...you love to cuddle with her, even though you aren't much of a "cuddler," you love to help her cook (not just baking sweets...but cooking real food!), and your favorite thing to do with her is to take selfies with her phone (without MG getting in the picture).

 You love to crack jokes (this is your daddy's influence), and whenever anybody asks you how you "know stuff,"  you say it's because you are "kindergarten ready."  You have a stellar memory--you have memorized more song lyrics, more scripture, and more directions (get on Briley Parkway to go to Granny's house...turn down this street to get to church), than I could have ever done at 3 years old.  And, I would be remiss if I didn't mention how much you adore all of your cousins, but especially your big cousin, Michael.  He has taken a special interest in you because you all are very similar...both very smart, both very creative, both very intuitive, and both have sophisticated palettes (pass the lobster and salmon, please).

You are also a fighter.  You struggle daily with your asthma, but I am amazed at how you are taking responsibility for your body and learning to watch your body's cues.

Sometimes I forget that you are just 3 because you are an "old soul" like Emmanuel.  I am so excited to see what God has in store for you.  It is a privilege to be your mom.  You keep me on my face before the Lord...you make me better.

Ugga Mugga, Reesie Pooh.   Happy Birthday!

1...3...5

So,  what is the significance of 1...3...5?  Am I working on a sequencing pattern with my kindergarten to count up by 2?  Am I focusing just on the odd months of the year?  Am I counting the weeks to a grand celebration (like a holiday or birthday)?

No.  1...3...5 are the ages that my children turned this summer.  And, they are also the ages that hold the most significance for me so far in my parenting journey.

1 for me is important because my "tiny baby" (and in Moriah Grace's grace, really tiny, preemie, baby) is now a moving, shaking, opinion-having person.  Moriah Grace was born to us one month early, weighing 4 pounds, 9 ounces and was back in the hospital less than two days after we were discharged.  Her first weeks were spent fighting hard to acclimate to life outside of the womb.  There were nights when I would just sit up to make sure she was still breathing (not in the way the same way that  I sat up to make sure Emmanuel was breathing--that was "I'm a first-time mom--I don't know what I'm doing--is my baby going to make it" check-ins)...these sleepless nights were legitimate because she was legitimately struggling.  I wondered if she would make it.  Would she gain weight?  Would she stop having jaundice?  Would she be able to keep her body temperature on her own?  Would God give me strength to endure with this tiny baby?  Yes, Yes, Yes, and Absolutely!

3 days old 

13 months old 

What a difference a year makes.  At her one year checkup, MG weighed 21 pounds.  She was saying a few words.  She was moving and shaking appropriately (although not walking at 12 months), and she made it clear to her big brothers that she is a force to be reckoned with!

Typically, we have a large party with family and friends and then a day filled with special activities on their actual birthday.  We opted out of the large party this year because (drumroll, please)....we took a trip to Disneyworld for their birthday celebration!  (We actually saved for this trip for two years and it was a combo birthday celebration and "you're transitioning to kindergarten celebration" for Emmanuel.)

MG's actual birthday fell when we were in Orlando.  I dressed her in her polka-dotted party dress that my sweet friend, Natalie, bought for her before she was born.  Funny thing about this dress is that my dear friend, Brooke, brought her the same dress in a newborn size.  So, MG wore it at 6 weeks in newborn size and at 12 months.

6 weeks

   

1 year--waiting for the cake!

MG's smash cake was purple with little white pearls (she has pearl earrings).  

Lovely smash cake on our paper plate from vacation

And while the boys enjoyed their cupcakes and her smash cake...all baby girl wanted was to finally taste some juice!

She was super serious about that juice box (guess she knew she was missing out all these months!)

Happy 1st Birthday, sweet girl.  You have changed our lives forever.  We love the strong, feisty woman you are growing into.  Thank you for all the ways you draw us closer to Jesus. 

We love you.  

(More to come about 3...and 5).

Happy Father's Day!

This man, Eli Foster...

...is extraordinary!

Now, I realize to the outside world...he might be seen as just an ordinary guy.  He's a middle school teacher, who likes to relax with his kids, and who loves to fish.  He's pretty simple and very easy to please.  I guess most people would think he's pretty ordinary.

But, what makes him extraordinary, you ask?  He is on his face before the Lord for us...his family.  He prays for us and loves us in such a radical and unconditional way.  He goes without so that we can have.  He says he is sorry, and extends us forgiveness when needed.  Everyday this man tells me that I am beautiful and how much he adores me.  Everyday he makes his boys feel like they are the most important kids in the world.  He tells them and shows them that they are special to him.   Everyday, he whispers to his little princess that she is valued, beloved, and has a lot to offer.  This is radical.  This is extraordinary.

Eli Foster is changing the generations.  There is a very powerful, spiritual shift that is taking place and he is at the very center of it...that's pretty extraordinary.

Happy Father's Day, Eli.  Thank you for being extraordinary.

Dreams do come true

When I was a young adult, my dream was to be a successful attorney.  I was going to have an amazing career.  I was not certain of anything else in life, but I knew that I was going to have a career.

Well, fast forward to 2013.  I am a stay-at-home mom of three small children.  My days mostly consist of wiping bottoms and snotty noses, attending playdates, reminding my children to use their manners and to be respectful, correcting behavior, picking up toys (I clean A LOT), and cooking meals (I cook A LOT).  A few times a week, I'm able to workout (usually joined by Shaun T and at least one child), and I do work a few hours a week for As One Fellowship, a new multicultural church plant in Nashville and Preston Taylor Ministries.  I am up pretty early most mornings, and by 5pm, I am spent.

This is not the amazing life that I thought I would have.  

Most of my very talented, very intelligent college friends are booming in their careers.  They are business leaders, attorneys, marketing specialists....you know, important in their field.  At 31, I thought that I would be right alongside of them...but my days are different.  My days are focused on teaching site words, singing pat-a-cake, and building towers that "bad guys" can't knock down.

It is not glamorous.  Sometimes, it's actually very gross (potty training, anybody?).  And, I will never make a lot of money.  Those things are facts.  But, this non-glamorous, gross life brings me so much joy.  I have the great privilege to spend the majority of my children's waking hours with them.  I get to help them work through times when they are angry.  I get to teach them how to process their emotions.  I get to remind them of Christ's unconditional love for them.  I get to be there with them to rejoice when they have accomplished something exciting.  I get to be present.  And, now that I am three short weeks away from not spending the majority of Emmanuel's waking hours with him, I am realizing that this is my dream.  

It's my dream to be present....to be available...to be the homeroom mom...to be the baseball coach's wife...to do the laundry...to cook the meals...that's my dream.  Actually, the funny thing is that my mom was "that mom."  The one who was at the school and involved.  The mom on my brother's teams who helped to organize things.  The one who was home with us when school was out.  She stayed at home with us, and I will never forget having a conversation with my very wise daddy who said, "When your mom was at home, I had no worries.  I knew that she would take care of everything.  I knew she would teach and train.  I am grateful that she held us together."  He praised her for her service to our family.  He valued the sacrifice that she made for us.  I am so grateful that I had that conversation with him before he passed away.  Because on days when I feel like I am making no impact and that what I am doing doesn't matter, God reminds me of this conversation with my dad.  What a gift that is to me.

So, this past Spring, I had an opportunity to further "live my dream" by being the coach's wife!  Eli coached Emmanuel's Coach Pitch Baseball Team.  It was so much fun!  I loved every practice and every game.  We truly had a great experience as a family.  The kids and families that we worked with were amazing.  We could not have asked for a better group of people to play with.  What fun!  It is truly an experience that we will remember forever.

My dream definitely looks different than what I envisioned.  And, I believe that happens to us.  We think our life should look one way, but God has other plans.  When we truly surrender our life to God, he reveals to us his purposes for us and his plans for us, and then affirms his plan, even if other people do not.  So what if our dream is not as glamorous as somebody elses....God has a plan.  So what if we don't make very much  money...God has a plan and He will provide.  So what if it doesn't fit perfectly in our box....God has a plan and He molds us and shapes us.  God's plans for our life far outweighs anything that we could ever dream up on our on.  So, go ahead, choose God's plan for your life....don't force or manufacture something that is not there...He has a specific plan just for you.  I can honestly say that these three children have drawn me closer to God than anything else in my life.  I am more aware of my sin.  More aware of my deficiencies.  More aware of my need for Christ.  And in my daily failings as a parent, I am more grateful for the mercy of Jesus that never runs out.

God has a plan...to draw us closer to Himself and to allow us to know Him in a deeper, more intimate way.  Trust that.  

If you give a man a fish....

The Chinese proverb states:  “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.”  

The wife, Carmen, would like to add:  If you teach the man to gut and filet the fish, the wife will be thrilled!  

It's been a long time since I've written.  I've had plenty of things to say, but no extra time or space to write.  My hope is that I can write more this summer, while Eli is home on break.  Our family is growing and changing in so many ways.  Moriah Grace is 1.  She's as cute and as feisty as can be.  Reesie Pooh will be 3 on Sunday (and 3, might I add, is a tough birthday for me.  I don't cry at 1 or at 2, but 3....3 does me in everytime), and he is so mature and snuggable with mama.  And, Emmanuel will be five in a couple of weeks.  He is bright, curious, funny, and so, so likeable.  Kindergarten, watch out!  

Ok, so back to the fish.  Carl Bean, my cousin and our dear family friend, is a jack of all trades.  He loves Jesus.  He cares about his family.  He hunts.  He fishes.  He cooks.  He cleans.  He is an amazing man. 

Thankfully, we live close enough to reap the benefits of his awesomeness!  One benefit:  teaching Eli (don't worry, I was watching) how to clean, gut, and filet a fish.  

Exhibit A:  The crappie (that's the name of the fish.  I promise, I'm not funny enough to make this up!) 

Exhibit B:  Reese watching intently as Carl Bean guts the fish.  

Exhibit C:  Eli, in the kitchen trying to cut open the fish (Thank you, Carl Bean, for making Eli do some of the work!)

I will interrupt right here to say that there were more pictures of fish eggs and cutting off of heads, etc, but there is only so much blood and guts that a girl can take!

Not only did Carl Bean teach Eli how to gut and filet the fish.  He also taught him a valuable lesson that I've been trying to teach him our whole marriage that my dad taught me:  Clean up as you go!   (I'll let you know in a few months if that lesson stuck).  And, then, for the grand finale, Carl Bean used his 11-spice blend (it's a secret people, I've tried to steal it a million times) to fry up that crappie.  The whole family enjoyed our fresh fish, even baby Moriah Grace.

 (Emmanuel is trying to figure out in the picture how he can steal some of his dad's plate.)

Good times are always had by the Fosters at Carl Bean's house.  

123

123 days.

This is the number of days left until Emmanuel starts Kindergarten.

Is he anxious?  Absolutely not!  He can't wait to start this new adventure.

Am I anxious?  (Are you kidding?  Is this a trick question?  Am I breathing....of course I'm anxious to send my baby off to school!)  I got choked up walking to the school to fill out the registration paperwork.  Mind you, E is zoned for the best elementary school in the District and one of the best in the state...I have no doubt that he will absolutely thrive in school...I'm just selfishly thinking of how hard it is for me to face that he is old enough to read and write and to get his feelings hurt and to make friends and to crack jokes.  It feels like he was just 5 pounds, 9 ounces...or like he just learned to walk...or like he just discovered chocolate.  It happened so fast.  Too fast.

And poor Reesie looked at me with tear-filled eyes, and he said, "I'm gonna cry when Emmanuel goes to kindergarten because he won't ever come back!"

Dagger.  through.  the.  heart.  

All of my selfish anxiety went out the window as I went to comfort my boy.  Then, Emmanuel, in typical big-brother style,stepped in and said, "Reesie, it's ok.  I will come back, and you can do special things with mom and MG while I'm at school."  Reese looked at E, gave him a hug, and simply said, "Ok, Emmanuel."

These two truly are more than just brothers...they are friends.  They have been inseparable for almost three years.  They play together.  They share a room.  They have the same friends.  They dress up together.  They take baths together.  They brush their teeth at the same time.  They are always together...and Reese is not Emmanuel's shadow that just follows him around at will...he chooses to be with him.  They are not just brothers....they are "bruhs," and what a privilege it is to watch them develop a friendship.  

So, 123 days until our little family has a change of pace.  123 days to complete the items on my Kindergarten Bucket List that I made over a year ago.  123 days to savor every dress-up time, every playdate, every argument...

123 days before it is a little too quiet in my house during the day.

Welcome to Kindergarten!