What NOT to say to pregnant women

I was at a conference today, and these ladies told me that I looked "beautiful pregnant" (bless their souls, if they only knew).  My wonderful husband tells me on a daily basis how beautiful and hot I am (he's a good man)...despite the super fast expansion of my body, every part of my body.  My dad told me on more than one occasion that when my mom was pregnant, she was the most "beautiful he had ever seen her" (he was a good man, too).  

But, after talking with a few pregnant girlfriends (and trust me, I know so many women who are pregnant right now, it is absolutely ridiculous), I have come to the conclusion that there are just things that people should NOT say to pregnant women.  Pregnant women are already filled with so many emotions and their hormones are all over the place...it's just a little dangerous to say the wrong thing to pregnant women.  

So, here is the list of things "not to say" to preggos.  (By the way, this is a purely scientific study and women who were underweight, normal weight, and overweight prior to pregnancy were interviewed to get their opinions...and the conclusions were the same.)

1.  How much weight have you gained?  I don't think this question needs any explanation.

2.  Are you having twins?  Again, no explanation needed.  

3.  Oh, this must not be your first baby?  So, obviously pregnant women show a little earlier and faster with their second, third, etc. babies...trust me...the pregnant woman already knows that she's wearing maternity clothes earlier than she did when precious little Johnny was born...she doesn't need the public to remind her.

4.  I didn't even know you were pregnant?  This may seem innocent, but I have heard from many preggos that this is quite an insult when you are OBVIOUSLY pregnant.  Either people are trying to be nice and end up lying (oh, sweet Southerners really struggle with this one) or well, they are trying to be nice and end up lying.  

5.  Are you still exercising?  (I have to laugh at this one--it's time for personal disclosure). The answer is usually yes, but please don't make us explain that even though we walked a few miles and lifted a few weights, we still gave into that craving of Chick-Fil-A French Fries, the Peanut Butter Mousse Cupcake from the Cupcake Collection (fabulous place for those of you who live in Nashville...it is both family and black-owned in an upscale neighborhood here...I promise to take you here if you visit...they absolutely love Emmanuel ), or the Fried Catfish that smelled and looked so perfectly that was cooked by Granny Myrt.  (For everyone else): You may have wanted to exercise, but maybe your doctor has put you on bedrest...or maybe you are only allowed to do light activity...or well, maybe you are just scared to death to do anything that is going to get your heart rate up because you are worried that it will hurt your baby. 

6.  Are you swelling so much because your baby is due in the summer?  No explanation needed. 

7.  When I was pregnant...(insert your own preggo story here).  Most of the time this unsolicited advice is well, unsolicited.  Please don't tell us how much weight you gained and how long it took you to get it off (or worse, if you never got it off).  Please don't tell us that you embraced every time that you threw up, every time you had a backache or headache, and every time your ankles were swollen or worse (especially for those who have more difficult pregnancies), that your pregnancy was perfect and you would have been pregnant for your whole life.  We have our own story (which, by the way, we are very thankful to the Lord for and are very proud of) and a unique experience.  Please let us have our time of "being" pregnant and help us to enjoy being pregnant (however wonderfully complicated that might be).  

At the end of the day, the perfect resolution to encourage pregnant women everywhere is to take the cue from my hubsters and my daddy:  tell us that we are beautiful and please tell us often.  :)