Baby Change Diaper Foster?

So, we haven't really revealed the name of our daughter, yet.

So when people ask me, I tell them the name that Emmanuel came up with:  Baby Change Diaper.

This has made some members of my extended family very upset, namely James IV (who is 12) and Michael (who is 10).

They took it upon themselves to give me a list of why that name was not acceptable for their baby girl cousin:

Aunt Carmen, she will be embarrassed once she hits Middle School, maybe people will be nice to her in Elementary School, but they will tear her up in Middle School. 


Aunt Carmen, that's just not a good name.  Nothing about it is cool. 


It's too long. 


It doesn't make sense. 


We don't like it, and we can't believe that you would name our family member that! 

Wow, these pre-teens have some strong opinions, don't you think?  The truth is that upon discovering that we were having a little girl, we pulled a name out of our hat that we have thought about for a long time.  It has really powerful biblical and personal meaning.  We think it is the perfect name for this little girl.

But, for now, it's fun to have Emmanuel and Reese (I definitely can't leave him out) take ownership in talking to and about their baby sister.

And, even though we have a name for her, something tells me they might still call her Baby Change Diaper and that's perfectly fine with me.

Another Round of "Firsts"

Three has been an interesting age.

You have to pay for things for your child (no more free admissions!)  In most cases, your child is more verbal than at age two, and thinks that he can have an "adult conversation" (for example, Emmanuel listens to EVERY WORD that I say on the phone...even spelling things out doesn't work well these days...he always figures it out!)  And, there are typically a new round of "firsts" that your "no-longer-toddler" is able to participate in.

Emmanuel's round of firsts have included:

1.  A ride on a school bus!  This was very exciting for Emmanuel and Reese because they are fascinated with transportation.  We almost always watch for the school bus to pick up the big kids in the morning.  One of our favorite librarians has his crayons in a crayon school bus that both the boys get so excited over...so when they had the chance to ride on a REAL bus, they were thrilled!  We took this ride with my sister-in-law's group on the way to the circus.

2.  Dancing on stage with members of the Nashville Ballet (while Reese was running on stage!)

3.  Playing a violin at the Country Music Hall of Fame

4.  First "real" Superbowl Party where he watched about 5 minutes of the game 

5.  First time at the skating rink--this didn't last long either...ended with a big fall, but he and Reese got to go in the ticket booth for their cousin...so that made all the difference!

Can I just say that this year has gone by amazingly fast!  It seems like as my children age, the time goes faster and faster.  With tears in my eyes, I asked a friend of mine whose boys are 6 and 3 if there was anyway to slow down the time.  I can't seem to take enough pictures and write enough blogs and do whatever I possibly can to record these memories.  She looked at me and simply said, "Enjoy your children."

So, one moment at a time...I am enjoying my children.  

Trayvon Martin

(This was written about a month ago...I was pretty sure that I published it, but went to the blog this morning and realized it wasn't showing up! So, it's dated now, but happy reading!)

There is a bit of an activist in me.

Maybe it's because my dad was fierce.  Maybe it's because he was involved in the civil rights movement.  Maybe it's because he has vivid memories of the night Martin Luther King Jr. died that haunted him...

or...maybe it's because I grew up learning about and admiring Martin Luther King, Jr. whose very life was given for the pursuit of justice and who is credited with saying, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

or perhaps...it's because I am madly in love with Jesus Christ, who is very clear about taking care of the oppressed, the poor, the widow...those who are unable to defend themselves.

Maybe, just maybe these are the reasons that there is a spirit of activism that lies deep within.

And, maybe I care so much about Trayvon Martin bcause I am raising two boys (who wear hoodies all the time, by the way)...maybe I care so much because my boys are part African-American (and let's face it, society will perceive them as black men).  Maybe I care so much because it could have been them...or my 12-year-old nephew...or my next door neighbor's son.

Regardless of why I care...what's important is that I DO care, and I think that most people should be concerned...involved....outraged.  Unfortunately, I have been surprised at the silence of people around me.  It's as though their lips are stapled shut in fear that people will get the wrong impression of them.

We attended the rally for Trayvon in Nashville and joined other people who are concerned...who want to show Trayvon's family support...who want to teach their sons and their daughters that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

As it began to rain, I was reminded of another significant event that Eli and I took Emmanuel to and had to brave the elements to do so.  We attended the Inauguration of President Barack Obama...Emmanuel was a few days shy of 6 months old...and it was FREEZING.  I remember that people thought we were crazy to take an infant in that weather...in those large crowds...but we wanted Emmanuel to be aware of the significance that was happening in our country (which, whether or not you agree with Obama...I think it is safe to say that his presidency is signficant for our country...not just for Black people...but for our whole country)...it will be something that we will remember for the rest of our lives and we will remind him about it as he grows into a man.

So, a little rain or freezing weather won't stop us from fighting for what is right...because there's a little bit of activism in us that writhes in pain when there is an injustice and shouts hallelujah when there is progress.

For now...we wait in pain with Trayvon's family, in joyful hope that the sovereign God we serve will make all things new and right in His way.

and for the little baby, mama...

We have been doing Easter prayers everyday with the boys during the Lenten season (I promise to write more about this as time permits), so last night, after talking about the meaning of Good Friday, I said to Emmanuel and Reese....

"Jesus died on the cross for a little boy named Reesie...and a little boy named Emmanuel...a big girl named Carmen...and big boy named Eli...and everybody else in the whole wide world!"

Emmanuel looked at me with those huge chocolate eyes and said, "Mama...Jesus died for the little baby in your tummy, too!"  Holding back tears, I hugged his neck and I said, yes, sweet angel, Jesus died for the little baby in my tummy, too.  

Amen.

Boys and Mud...

It's no secret that I am clueless about raising boys.

I'm the mom who checks out all of the books about raising boys from the library because I have no idea what I am doing.  I'm the mom who gets together with her mom friends who also have boys and we exchange stories and ideas and laugh out loud at the crazy things that our little men do.  "Oh, your child has a black eye, too...how did he get that?"  When I say that parenting these two boys is an adventure...that is quite the understatement.  This is a journey of a lifetime...better than any reality TV show...better than any stand-up comedy show...even better than one of those crazy competition shows like Wipeout...there is never a dull moment!  This real life journey is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced (and the most exhausting!)

I will set this up as simply as I know how...

There was a GIGANTIC hole in our yard.  It rained.  It became a mud pit.  (Please insert what you think Emmanuel and Reese did when they discovered the mud pit.  Now think about how their very clean and organized mom reacted.  Now laugh out loud.)

Big hole...

Two curious little boys...

A hot mess from head to toe!

A ton of fun...

I knew this day was coming.  When they go to my mom's house, they spend the entire time outside...when I come back to get them, they are covered from head to toe in dirt.  They stink.  Their little fingernails are disgusting.  Their hair is filled with nastiness.  But, they are as happy as I've ever seen them.  So, I've gotten lots of preparation.  I knew that eventually I would see this day....that's why I had to capture their little craziness on camera.

They didn't care about anything else in the world.  They were thrilled to be in that mud.  They kept running and jumping in the puddle.  Our neighbors came out to watch (which made them jump even higher because they had an audience).  They were smiling from ear to ear.  I couldn't do anything but smile hard myself.

I'm so thankful that I was able to capture this moment...and I'm also thankful for the wonderful bath they took immediately afterwards...

and for the wonderful men who came and filled the hole the next day!

What's in a Name?

I asked Reese, our 20 month old, about his name about a week ago.  The conversation went like this:

Me:  "What's your name, little boy?"
Reese:  "ELI!"
Me:  (Laughing hysterically):  "Eli is your daddy's name.  What's YOUR name?"
Reese:  "ELI!"
Me:  Ok, Reese, what is YOUR name?
Reese:  "Reesie Pooh!"

The next day...
Me:  "What's your name, little boy?"
Reese:  "ELI!"
Me:  "You're not Eli, MY name is Eli."
Reese:  "Your name is Carmen.  Hi, Carmen (imagine a very slow, southern drawl here)."
Me:  "WHAT?  How do you know my name?"
Reese:  "Carmen, Carmen, Carmen...."

A few days after that...
Me:  "What's your brother's name?"
Reese:  "Fireman Sam and the Hulk"
Emmanuel:  "That's right!"
Me:  "Then, Reese, who are you?"
Reese:  "The Chief."

Of course, baby boy, how did I forget?  You are the Chief.

The Cat's Outta the Bag

I'm pretty certain that it doesn't take most people 20 weeks to disclose to their family and friends that they are expecting.  Yes, you read it.  20 weeks.

When I found out I was pregnant with this sweet little baby, I was more than overwhelmed.  In our little minds, we were finished having children.  We were perfectly content with our energetic little boys in our three bedroom house (where everyone has their own space) and our big green minivan.  We were a family of four...and we were proud and happy.  We talked it over and prayed about it and decided that we should stay a family of four.  So, we started giving away maternity clothes and baby stuff--bye, bye, crib...farewell Jumperoo, adios maternity and baby boy clothes!  What freedom!  We were moving into a time when I wouldn't have to carry a diaper bag that weighed 20 pounds...I wouldn't have to puree baby food anymore...and breast-fed baby blowouts would be a thing of the past.  We were so certain that this was it, that we even took permanent measures to keep our family a family of four (speculate all you want...I can't put all of our business out there).  And, it became official, we would be a family of four.

Or so we thought.

I was sick.  Really sick.  I was tired.  Beyond exhaustion.  My tummy was bloated.  I was convinced that I had some type of illness.  Why would I feel this way day after day?  No medicine helped.  No amount of sleep helped me to recover.  I was feeling so miserable.

And, then, I found out...I was pregnant.  Pregnant?  Again?  No way.  This isn't possible.  We don't have any more baby stuff...we only have three bedrooms...our budget is already stretched to the max so that I can stay at home with the boys...oh my Gosh...I've been so prideful and told everyone that we were only having two children...I said that my uterus was closed...

My OB laughed at me when I came in for my first visit.  And she reminded me that there was a slim-to- none possibility to conceive after what we did...and well, we conceived.  So, yes, this baby is a surprise...but she is also a miracle.  She is also a reminder that God's ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts...He has a perfect plan, even if it doesn't fit with our plan, His plan is better...His ways are better...His ways are perfect.

And, so, in July right around the time Reese turns 2 and Emmanuel turns 4, a baby girl will be welcomed into our family.

She already has her daddy wrapped around her finger.  She already has sweet friends of mine buying her pink and purple outfits.  She's already been engraved onto the palms of Her Savior.

So, next time you are in the grocery store, and you see that mom who looks frazzled because her 4-year-old is ready to go, her 2-year-old is peeing in aisle 5, and her newborn is screaming because it's naptime, please think of me and say a prayer...because our ride is about to get really, really interesting.